


Falling Apart II

by sffan



Series: Fractures [2]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-04-29 14:10:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14474361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sffan/pseuds/sffan
Summary: Simon's POV





	Falling Apart II

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes your brain is your own worst enemy. I hadn’t intended to include Simon’s POV, but suddenly it all made sense and it fits with the series title too. Thanks to skripka for being the sounding board.
> 
> I knew Open Doors was going to be uploading my fic. I had no idea they actually had....
> 
> Original publication date: December 8, 2003
> 
> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).
> 
> My disclaimer: This fic is from a previous archive, written between 2002 and 2008. No additional changes or edits have been made since it’s original posting date and none will be. A further note, Firefly was my first fandom, there are bound to be rookie mistakes. To preserve my own development as a writer, I am not editing or correcting them. You may find yourself making this face O_o occasionally.

Simon lies quietly in Jayne's arms, staring at the ceiling, his body aching inside and out, his mind calm for the first time all night. He knows what he has to do. He's known it for a long time, but had tried to stave off the inevitable, had hoped, with time, that things might change. They did not. Simon does not know why he cannot return Jayne's love; he just knows that he cannot. 

He stood at that window for ages, staring out into the winter storm trying to figure out a way to tell Jayne, a way to say the words that he knew would hurt the big man more than any bullet wound or knife slash. But he couldn't. He could not find the words, so he said nothing when Jayne's strong arms curved around him, offering warmth and strength and support. And still he had said nothing when he was led to the bed and gently pressed back against the sheets. And then Simon had looked up into Jayne's steel blue gaze, softened to grey by desire and love, and suddenly realized, he knows. He knows this is the end. 

Simon could see the understanding in Jayne's eyes, could feel it in his touch, in the way Jayne had tried to memorize every moment, tried to make it last as long as possible. Simon couldn't give Jayne his love, but he could give him his body, so he had surrendered completely to the moment, letting Jayne overwhelm his senses, pushing the end away, if only for a short time. 

Simon inhales deeply, remembering, smelling stale sex and sweat, and steels himself for what he must do. He slips out from under Jayne's embrace, a sad smile stretching across his face as he watches Jayne's arms wrap around the pillow and draw it close. He stands beside the bed for a few moments watching Jayne sleep, and then reaches out and gently strokes his cheek. 

"I'm sorry," Simon whispers. 

He gathers up his clothes, dresses quickly, and slips away. 

The door snicks shut and Jayne opens his eyes. "Me too," he replies sadly to the empty room. 


End file.
